After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"



. . . . . .

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

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This week Truk photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.

Little Johnny's Ebonics teacher decided to give a quiz on this week's spelling words. She asked the students to spell the words and use them in a sentence. Three of the words were: hotel, stigma and homosexual.

Little Johnny's answers were:

1. h-o-t-e-l The President asked Monica to keep their affair on the down low, but Linda Tripp made the ho tel.

2. s-t-i-g-m-a The President said to Monica, "I want you to stig ma cigar in your you know what".

3. h-o-m-o-s-e-x-u-a-l The President asked Monica not to wear panties because he thought it made the ho mo sexual.



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" The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee. -Regis Philbin. "

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Stephen's Snaps
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This week Truk photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one, Little Johnny, began praying at the top of his lungs.

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...  I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...  I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged Johnny and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

To which Little Johnny replied, "No, but Gramma is!"




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" No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -Mark Twain "


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Stephen's Snaps
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This week Gerbra & Rose photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.

Miss Jones was teaching her class math. She asked, "Johnny, if your father earned $100.00 and gave half of it to your mother, what would  she have?"

Little Johnny replied, "A heart attack!?"



.       .        .        .        .        .

" No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -Mark Twain "


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Stephen's Snaps
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This week Gerbra & Rose photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.

One day, Little Johnny was sitting in class when the teacher came in. She announced that they were going to play a little game where she would say a letter, and she would pick one person in the class to say an animal that started with that letter.

So first the teacher said the letter "C", and there were several kids with their hands raised, but Johnny was jumping up and down, so the teacher thinking, "Oh no, not Johnny" picked on Susie.

Susie said, "Cow."

The teacher said very good. Next the teacher said the letter "S". There was Johnny jumping up and down trying to get the teacher to call on him, but instead she called on Billy.

He said "Snake". Good she said.

Next she called out the letter "R", and once again there was Johnny jumping up and down, in the aisle to get the teacher's attention. So the teacher thinks to herself, "I can't think of anything bad that starts with an 'R'", so she calls on Johnny.

"A Rat..." Johnny says, spreading his hands about 12" apart, "with a big fucking dick this long."



.       .        .        .        .        .

" No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -Mark Twain "


http://www.ebearweb.net


Stephen's Snaps
http://photo.ebearweb.net/

This week Gerbra & Rose photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.

 Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.
 
 "Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off" said the teacher.
 
 "Who is credited with writing the phrase "To be or not to be. That is the question," asked the teacher.
 
 Little Pham Lam Nguyen at the front of the class called out, "Shakespeare".
 
 "Well done!" said the teacher, "You can have Monday off"
 
 "No thank you Miss. I am of Vietnamese origin and it is in our culture to study as hard as we can, so I will be here on Monday studying hard," said Little Pham Lam Nguyen.
 
 "Well okay," said the teacher. The next quote is, "I had a dream!"
 
 Little Fri Sum Kat also at the front yelled out "I bereiva it was Martin Ruther King!"
 
 "Well done!" said the teacher. "You can have Monday off"
 
 "No thanka you miss. I am of Chinese oligin and we also do not take time offa school. Education is evelything to us, so I will be in on Monday studying hard too," said little Fri Sum Kat.
 
 "Okay," said the teacher.
 
 Then she heard a voice from the back of the classroom, "Fucking Asians!"
 
 "Who said that?" yelled the teacher in an angry tone.
 
 "Pauline Hanson!" yelled little Johnny. "See ya Tuesday!!!!



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" A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -G Gordon Liddy "


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Stephen's Snaps
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This week Gerbra & Rose photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door. They undressed and got into bed and then Daddy got on top of her and ...."

The mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word! Wait until your father gets home and then I want you to tell him  exactly what you've just told me."

The father came home and the wife tells him that she's leaving him.

"But why?" croaked the husband.

"Go ahead, Johnny. Tell Daddy what you've just told me."

"Well," said little Johnny, "I was playing in your closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and Daddy got on top of her and they did just what you did, Mommy, with Uncle Bob."



.       .        .        .        .        .

" A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -G Gordon Liddy "


http://www.ebearweb.net


Stephen's Snaps
http://photo.ebearweb.net/

This week Gerbra & Rose photos.

Simply nice photos, Landscape, Seascape, Underwater, The Northern Beaches Sydney.